A Christian or something else?

Why hello there, its been a while since we last chatted! How are you doing? I hope all is going well.


I have had a few things on my mind lately and thought about blogging about them but just haven't had the drive to write any more than I have to, being in University now and having papers due and all.  Any-who-zulls, one thing that I have been challenged about was whether or not I am actually a Christian.


Whoa, that's heavy.


No, I'm not questioning my faith, I still believe in God and yes, I have accepted Jesus in my life and been baptized. But is that all enough?


I read the Bible daily, pray as often as I can, attend regular worship services and listen to A- LOT of preaching/teaching on the Bible (more than I thought I could ever handle). But is that all enough?


Depending on what type of person you are and where you are in your faith journey, you might say "Spencer, it sounds like things aren't too bad, quit being a goof". But more than anything this is a challenge that I ask myself often.


Am I ACTUALLY a Christian?


Ironically, I have found the easiest way to dissect this question is to ask another question.(I know frustrating huh?!?!)


To me, to simply ask whether or not I am a Christian is an incomplete question. You have to continue with:


Is the Holy Spirit in my life?


If the answer to that is No, then sadly, I have difficulty believing you are a true Christian. If the Holy Spirit is not in you then you cant be a Christian because Christ does not live in you.  I think after you ask that question, you might ask..


What does that mean to have the Holy Spirit in my life?


This is where I don't have enough theological training to answer this question concretely without missing something or stepping where I maybe shouldn't. The only way I can respond to this question properly is to answer with my own life experiences. The first time I started to realize the Holy Spirits work in my life was, get this, when I read some of my blogs a little while after writing them! I started learning things from my own writing that I didn't know! I would read my own blog or writings and say "Wow! I am NOT this smart!".  That was when I first began to understand how the Holy Spirit was working in my life.  Another way that I realize the Holy Spirit has a dwelling in my soul, is that it never quits.  No matter how many times I fail in my life, no matter how much I screw up(which is a lot), no matter how discouraged I am and feel like I cant do anything right...The Holy Spirit is always there giving me that nudge. I can no longer quit on Jesus, because he wont quit on me.  Seriously, I've thought that I can't do it any more and I should just give up and let my sinful nature rule over my life. But my sin cannot completely control my life anymore because the Holy Spirit is there and not leaving. I still sin, and always will, yet there is no way I can quit and forget about trying. AH! The saving power of Jesus' death on the cross!


Jesus has a grip on me that never lets go! Oh, how he loves me!
I am amazed at how easily I can say that I can't do it anymore, yet Jesus never gets discouraged with me. THAT is true love!


Now to bring it back to the challenge...


In my life I often feel challenged in my faith as to whether I am living it out how I should or not. Am I praising God with my life? Do I wake up every morning with the first words out of my mouth, "Lord, your will be done in my life!" Obviously these answers are no, I am a wreck of a human, and sin even when I don't want to. But when I ask these questions I am putting my hope in that the Holy Spirit is going to work in me and shape me.


I invite you to challenge yourself..Are you a true Christian? Is the Holy Spirit in your life? Where? How does it affect and change your life?


I ask myself these questions even as I write them down.


Oh, what a broken person I am. If I said something a little wacky that doesn't sit right in your inner chambers please call me out on it. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life full of deadlines to read this blog about a stumbling sinner...


Stay beautiful,
Spencer out! :)