The Next Step

The time has finally come. The time when I will be leaving this town that I call my home and moving on to new things. Moving to Calgary is a big step for me and I am both excited and nervous for it as it is a lot different than here in Estevan. Over the past few months as it has been drawing closer and closer to moving day I have been through many worries, fears, doubts and "what if's".  I have learned that when I worry about where my life is going and what I will do next I put God in a box and limit him.  By worrying, I say that God isn't big enough to handle what may come up in the future.  I constantly need to be praying that I will give up all of my worries to God because he can handle what may come. One of the first verses to really stick out to me when I began reading the New Testament was Matthew 6:34.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its own."
God can handle it, whatever it is. I need to put my faith and trust in him and know that he will lead me down the path that glorifies him.  Whenever I catch myself worrying or thinking to much about the future and what it may hold, I pray.

Sometimes I doubt myself and think of all kinds of crazy "what if" situations about school.
"What if people think I'm weird?" (although I wouldn't blame them)
"What if I can't keep up in school work?"
"What if I waste my time and procrastinate so much that I get bad grades?"
"What if I fail?"
I constantly question if I'm good enough or if I will make he cut. But I realize that it's not about how good I am or how well I think I can do.
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Finally, something that I am working on and trying to train myself to do is to serve and to become lesser.  John 3:30 says it better than I ever could. "He must become greater; I must become less." It's simple mathematics really..

Jesus > Spencer

I want so badly to extend the same love that I have received to others and to make myself less than them. I no longer want to be the center of my Universe and make everything about me. That in itself is a bigger challenge than I could have ever imagined.
The last thing I want to say is that God gives us opportunities in life to show our love for him. Half the time I expect some fuzzy-happy feeling when I pray, but that's not the case. Instead of praying that I have Faith and Love, I pray that opportunities would arise where I would be able to show my Faith and Love. I pray that when these circumstances arrive I would act on them and not let them pass by.


I am a work in progress and I might just take my whole life to even begin to grasp these things. I want to thank everyone here that helped me grow and helped get me on the path I am on now.  Don't forget that I am just a Skype video call, Facebook chat, or E-Mail away. It doesn't matter if I've known you my whole life or we've never spoken, I am always willing to talk. I will miss your faces.

Stay Beautiful,

Spencer Out! =D